I've been waiting all this time to be something I can't define

Mon, 21 Aug 2006 02:02:56 GMT

P.S. this is where I now reside.

www.brokenangel5.blogspot.com

oldest LJ ever

Sat, 19 Aug 2006 06:49:12 GMT

This is Sam's Livejournal.
I don't update in it anymore.
But I want to stalk you.
So add me please.
Thanks.
love you much.

My College Essay...Why baseball is so important to me.

Wed, 08 Oct 2003 21:53:50 GMT

Baseball as most people know it is America’s pastime. It is the ever so popular sport which America cherishes. However, to some it has evolved to be more than a game; it has become a lifestyle, a metaphor, a stability. I am one of those people.
Ever since I was a little girl, baseball was a part of my life. I remember being only seven years old and going to every single one of my cousin’s baseball games. In those days, baseball was my life, and the ice cream man was my best friend. However, time did go by and my cousin had his homeruns and his strikeouts too. He moved on and left his life of baseball behind him. I did not though. Baseball in my life went on in an endless cycle. It continued with my brother playing and now to my nephew. And although the ones playing the sport changed, one thing that never did was the fact that it was in my life, even more than that, that it was my life.
Growing up with baseball, I was able to take so much more out of it than just a score and jersey numbers. In many ways, baseball became a metaphor for my own life. These players that I watched, whether it was my nephew at the local field or Nomar Garciaparra at Fenway Park, became my inspiration. I watched them time and time again strike out but never give up. I remember watching my nephew in his playoff game get hit with the ball right in the ribs. He fell to the ground, and the tears started swelling in my eyes. But he did not quit; he stood up, walked it off, and took his base. I look back at that moment and wonder how an eight year old had so much courage. Through both him and the other players I have grown watching, I have come to realize that the strikeouts and getting hit with balls are metaphorical to the curveballs life throws at us all the time. And when one of those curveballs are thrown at me, and I feel like all I want to do is give up, I simply look back at that moment with my nephew, or any strikeout and I realize that if I quit after one curveball, I may never get my homerun. Because of these lessons, baseball has become more than a game to me; it has become a metaphor for life.
Baseball has also grown to be the constant in my life. From the time I was a little girl when a scraped knee was my biggest problem to now, when I am senior in high school on the verge of stepping into the real world alone for the first time, baseball has been there. My love for the game has become my escape from the turmoil of real life. It allows me to escape to a world in which the only numbers that matter are batting averages and your best friend is the glove that you keep on your hand. Having baseball in my life has kept me stable. For I know that no matter how bad a day I have, baseball will still be there. Because of baseball, I get through everyday of my life knowing I can make it through tomorrow. Because of baseball, I have never-ending links to my past that cannot be torn. And because of baseball, I know that if I get to the plate and life throws me a curveball, even if I strike out, I need to try again, because next time it just might be a home run.

Hmm...strange

Sat, 06 Sep 2003 00:28:03 GMT

Sam

Which 'The Perks of Being a Wallflower' character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Damn, do i love this book.

inspired...

Sat, 30 Aug 2003 04:37:11 GMT

i feel the tears roll down my cheek
why is it so hard to believe?
what i woodnt give to have u within my reach?
i wish i wasnt having this epiphany
another summer wasted
yet id live it all agen
another loveless summer
yet it was the best it could have been
u are in my heart
you are on my mind
for this summer brought you
and i wish i could rewind time
-Samantha Smith 08-29-2003

*of course its him who gets me to start writing again...i dont even know why i bother. I cant even tell him the words i want to say to him...does he even have a clue? Why do i do this to myself, can someone please remind me...

Inspired...

Sat, 30 Aug 2003 04:31:22 GMT

i feel the tears roll down my cheek
why is it so hard to believe?
what i woodnt give to have u within my reach?
i wish i wasnt having this epiphany
another summer wasted
yet id live it all agen
another loveless summer
yet it was the best it could have been
u are in my heart
you are on my mind
for this summer brought you
and i wish i could rewind time
-Samantha Smith 08-29-2003

* Of course, he is the one to inspire me again...I dont know why I do this to myself, when i cant even say the words to him. Do you even have a clue...I wish you knew. Why am i wasting my time?